Tuesday, December 05, 2006

You don't have a mouth, Ketel One phone kiosk. You can't 'say' anything.

I've been having a lot of heated conversations with hard liquor ads lately. They're always talking to me, offering me unwanted advice, asking me questions. Saturday, as I was walking near Columbus Circle, this Ketel One ad rudely interrupted my placid thoughts. What "other night" are you talking about, you disingenuous kiosk? I haven't dressed sharply in months. And who's "we?" And can I just say, my non-friend from the great country of The Netherlands, a stark ad doesn't always equal a smart ad.

previously in talking with hard liquor ads:

1. Dewar's words should have been heeded by ad agency.
2. What's on your headstone, Tommy?
3. The drunken conversation is waiting.
4. Worst. Anthropomorphism. EVER.
5. Again, I'm yelling at a bottle of cognac.
6. Excuse me, while I puke and die.

12 Comments:

Anonymous LisaBinDaCity said...

It must be so interesting inside your head ;-)

Very funny post.

8:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i don't know, you did look snappy the other night in your new boots. and you do drink it from time to time.

they could have been talkin to you, just saying.

9:46 AM  
Anonymous Balvenie Guy said...

Dear Ketel One,

I’d say it.

If I had a fucking mouth.

10:23 AM  
Anonymous Andrew W said...

And they've been using these "Dear Ketel One" ads for at least a couple years now. Every back page of the Improper Bostonian has been a Ketel One ad for months and months, and in all that time, I still have no idea, obviously, what the bottle looks like or why I should order Ketel One other than that I'm awesome, which I already assumed.

10:23 AM  
Blogger Slinky Redfoot said...

yeah they just won't let this one go. Pretentious assholes.

10:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It seems they not only beat a dead horse, but strangled/shot/mutilated/necro-fucked the poor thing too

10:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Best thing about the Ketel One ads?

All the free space to jot down ideas and doodles.

11:08 AM  
Anonymous tyson said...

Okay...if my bottle of George Dickel started coming on to me, I'd scream like a baby for my mommy and run down the street, never to return. Hey, wait a minute...been there, done that. Never mind.

11:43 AM  
Anonymous ricpic said...

But dahrlink, you look FABulous. You alvays look FABulous.

4:23 PM  
Blogger LK said...

It's just that I look so great with my head in a toilet.

7:08 PM  
Anonymous Gigi said...

After listening to what Smirnoff had to say for the last week(it's the national and only vodka in Brazil), I'd be happy to let Kettle one talk nasty to me.

Yes, I'm bragging that I was in Brazil. I think it makes me sound cool and cultured.

8:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ketel are brandy makers they introduced this vodka especially for you Americans to rip you off. Interviewed the owners once, full of themselves. Can't blame them, they are making a shitpile of money.
Max
Amsterdam

3:22 PM  

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