Wednesday, June 20, 2007

80 acres and a mule.


(click ad for clearer look)
I'll field that one
. YOU'RE A FUCKING THREE AND HALF HOUR WALK FROM THE NEAREST SUBWAY STATION, AND FOR THIS INCONVENIENCE, I HAVE TO PAY $3,400/MONTH TO RENT A FUCKING ONE BEDROOM. Next question, Peter Cooper Village marketers?
(scanned from today's MetroNY.)
previously in I hate NYC real estate ads:
1. The Power Platinum Couple.
2. The four fashionable faces of Williamsburg.
3. Hendrix rolling over in his puke-filled grave.
4. CLEARLY defining your target audience.
5. Ad scanned from Speech Impediment Monthly.
6. Harlem "lodges" beckon curly-haired cutie-pie.

14 Comments:

Blogger Chris said...

Brilliant!

9:22 AM  
Blogger riese said...

Also, that's astroturf. Why's it look so weird and matted down, like impotent Chia? Or: not even. Or like ... fake moss from a cheap set of a children's television show, or, I suppose, fake grass from the cheap set of an ad shoot for Peter Cooper Village. If it was real grass, that guy woud have a bad stain on that creamy-colored shirt, and his girlyfriend's chinos would also suffer quite a bit. That's not tranquility.

2:03 PM  
Anonymous John said...

$3,400 sounds cheap for those units, they're huge. You should expect a fat rent increase next year!

2:47 PM  
Blogger copyranter said...

Out-of-town readers, the above missive from john should read:
$3,400 sounds "cheap" for those units..."

2:52 PM  
Anonymous former villager said...

I used to live in Stuytown. It's quite close to the 1st Ave. L stop.

6:08 PM  
Blogger copyranter said...

Ah yes, The L...such a useful line for getting around Manhattan.

7:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Okay, I'm going to sound like a total rube here - what am I saying - I am a total rube - I live in an East Texas town of 637 people, but ...

Are you fricking serious? $3400 a month for a one bedroom apartment?

JohnEastTexas

8:13 PM  
Blogger ricpic said...

Yes John, the shmucks who live in Manhattan and pay $3 - $5 thousand a month for the privilege of living in "the center of the universe" consider themselves to be the brightest hippest critters on the planet. Go figger.

9:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

living in peter cooper village, you'll learn pretty quickly you are not supposed to go anywhere near the grass. if the pre-war tenants do not yell at you for "violating your lease" by sitting on the grass, the security guards will. perhaps this is a change tischman is planning on making. as for now i'd say that canoodling would be anything but tranquil.

10:37 PM  
Anonymous JohnEastTexas said...

Jeeze, I left Houston and bought a house on a two-and-a-half acre lot in town for twenty-thousand dollars. That's, what, six months rent at Peter Cooper Village.

And my wife and I can canoodle all over that 2 and a half acres.

JohnEastTexas

8:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

JohnEastTexas,

You're a very smart man! NYC sucks. I sold my ridiculously overpriced apartment to some fools and I'm getting out of this toilet in about 2 months...

2:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ricpic, people who are fully leveraged so they can live in McMansions, drive luxury cars and have all the toys (wave runners, snow mobiles, etc) of modern life are schmucks to the same degree that people who pay insane rents to live in the center of the universe are schmucks. What they have in common is they are willing to live barely at or even beyond their means to have what they value.

At the end of the day, you will argue, owning property means you have something of value while renting leaves you with nothing, but living in a place like New York gives you unique life experiences you will never have living in a McMansion in the suburbs. Which has more value? That's up to the individual to decide.

2:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

But to the anon just above, you can live in NYC without paying $3,400 a month. If you're wlling to forgo the "prestige" of living in Mahattan and having bag ladies shit in fron of your building every morning like clockwork.

I don't like suburbs either. But in its own way, Manhattan is just as cliche.

9:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

and now they have a myspace page:
www.myspace.com/stuytownnyc ?

12:21 PM  

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