Tuesday, September 04, 2007

I'd have to be pretty f*cking fat to lie on a thousand vibrating cell phones.


Ever crammed more chewy hooey [heh] into one headline, Wrigley's?
I agree with my BFF Bob Garfield about what he had to say about the campaign for new high-tech "5" gum (named thusly because it's a gum that thrills all your senses). It's just gum, you fucking morons. This is the stupidest ad I've seen since this one (granted, it's only been three months).
Campaign produced jointly by London & Chicago offices of my other BFF, BBDO.
(scanned from ESPN magazine)
previously in bullshit ad lines:
1. HOMOMETROSEXUALS™ prefer Svedka vodka.
2. ...because eating PBJ does nothing to lessen the anger?
3. Mitchum. So effective you could skip a day.™
4. When life depends on it, use Asbestos.
5. enviga: Less than nothing. Better than anything.
6. Gwynnie Paltrow is African.

4 Comments:

Blogger New York Punk said...

"I'd have to be pretty f*cking fat to lie on a thousand vibrating cell phones."

And you have to have a BBDO sized asshole to enjoy the sensation.

2:13 PM  
Blogger Chris said...

i always enjoy chewing extra because it smells similar to a urinal cake. how it feels to chew "5" should be a fat stream of piss splashing off a pale pink puck in a casino bathroom somewhere in laughlin.

3:16 PM  
Blogger Nightcrush said...

What's up with the tech-looking packaging/branding for this gum anyway? Makes me think I'd be chewing on the plastic carapace of an XBox.

4:26 PM  
Blogger Nik said...

This gum packaging looks like cigarettes. I don't get it.

4:36 PM  

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