Monday, January 14, 2008

The Unparalleled Hyperbole of New York City Real Estate Advertising, Example II.


(click image for closer look)
Just like last time, all copy cut and scanned from real estate ads placed in one edition (yesterday's) of the Sunday New York Times. A lot of advertising is Bullshit. But, New York City real estate advertising is the absolute Bullshittiest. It's quite laughable to witness the marketers struggle arduously every week to find new idiotic phrases to describe obscenely overpriced empty boxes inside buildings. FYI, non-New Yorkers: "HK" stands for Hell's Kitchen, which realtors tried to rename "Clinton." Now, one seller has settled on using this fashionable monogram.
Previously in hyperbolic NYC real estate ads: One Madison Park attempts to rewrite art history; 184 Thompson pisses on Jimi Hendrix's legacy; "Chicly Radical" 20 Bayard in Williamsburg: the TriBeCa Summit employs speech impediment shorthand; a Harlem "lodge" beckons lone wolves; the cutting edge condo that only accepts Platinum People; and One Carnegie Hill defines their target audience a little too narrowly.

9 Comments:

Blogger LoftNinja said...

ahh...i see you've once again been playing around with the (bull)shit that has been keeping me entertained as an agent for years...funny, when you are actually an honest agent, the garbage everybody else puts out is like bad TV...that's why i've always made fun of ads like these, while advertising my listings...its actually fun to make bullshit that makes fun of bullshit... check this: http://justinyc.typepad.com/photos/reart

hope it keeps you entertained C-ranter...peace, loftninja

12:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I used to think "American Psycho" was satire. Now it just looks like reporting. Sigh...

6:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I write this bullshit, and I'm still waiting for the day when one of my awful headlines makes it into a copyranter collage.

And loftninja, don't kid yourself. There is no such thing as an honest agent, and nobody thinks otherwise.

12:18 PM  
Blogger LoftNinja said...

I stand corrected! there's no one quite as honest as an anonymous commenter... but at least you can admit that you are full of shit and a liar...

i hate people like you...this is the only reason i am still an agent at all after 5+ years...i study the effect that your type have on people who just don't know any better...someone has to protect the public from the "anonymous" assholes who steal money and coerce people into signing lines under false pretenses...have you ever been homeless in NYC? i'd rather be than to trick people into paying me to hurt them for years to come.In my opinion, if you can't put yourself in someone else's shoes you should have to go barefoot yourself...but what do i know..i just like to kid myself

Mr. (or Miss) anonymous
...if you're ever willing to learn the technique involved when going about real estate in an honest manner, look the ninja up. who knows, you may learn something, if i let you live....douchebag

im sure you're really proud of your prophetic murmur and will probably be tracking this post so take note: if you ever have the balls to return another comment anywhere against me and hide behind the proxy, just know that you are a completely worthless coward...just like all the other lying ass UNreal estate agents...have some respect for yourself...i'm willing to teach...its not that hard to find me....i never go anonymous...faggot! And I almost never get into pissing contests with low life, GREEN real estate agents...and i love to call people names in print when they have chosen to hide in the ether...

(sorry for hoggin' your space here, C-ranter. Anyway, looks like we may be making history here, if the shady broker behind door number 3 is right in his ass-umption. The first honest real estate agent has been born....um or perhaps I'm just drunk)

8:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

@loftninja: So you are never anonymous? Loftninja is your real name? I don't even work in this industry anymore, and I read this for a small distraction from the daily grind. Your "honesty" as you so coyly put it, looks more like homicidal megalomania. You're ruining the vibe. Now fuck off. Please.

10:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The women's movement gave us a few more female doctors, a few more female lawyers, and two million chatty cathy no talent female marketing directors -- bb

10:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

He is so far out of touch that he thinks it is OK to put his brother`s own children`s pictures in the Hamptons Mag Winter 2008/09 with their names prinited. The kids are only 8 years old and they are photographed with both parents in the photo along with Jason-baby himself.These people are so out of touch that they do not realize there are wierdos out there. Also, how could a mother be so wrapped up in the lifestyle to not care about his? Looks like her name is Asako Nagakura Binstock. Wow!!!! http://www.hamptons-magazine.com/letter_pub.html

11:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is Jeffrey Binstock the biggest A-hole in NY?

10:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is Jeff Bunstock the biggest jerk in New York? Jason Binn's brother

10:36 PM  

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